The Call  

This song came into being pretty fast.  The music is somewhat indicative of the heavier styles I have most frequently been drawn to and reflects the anxiety I often feel about performing and being so public with my ministry.  I think I am less concerned with simple stage fright, but more so with a history of failing those who depend on me through my battles with ADHD.  I wasn’t diagnosed until well into adulthood and those failures always fell squarely on my shoulders.  This dramatically affects one's self-esteem and confidence.  I believe God doesn’t always call the equipped, but instead He does equip the called.  The one thing that is absolutely required is resolute faith.  This song is a prayer for help to stand against the fear of failure.

Lyrics

Before the door swung wide for me,

With eyes open wide when I first believed,

I spent my time getting over, getting mine.

Sweet Lord, to your mission, now what good am I?

Can I show faith to those who know none at all?

Can I give hope to those against the wall?

Can I feel love for hands that force the fall

And be what you need when comes forth the call?

Can I be all you desire of me?

I fear my shame is all that they’ll see.

My will can’t still this unsteady frame.

I pray for strength in Jesus’ name.

Help me show faith to those who know none at all.

Help me give hope to those against the wall.

Help me feel love for hands that force the fall.

Help me be what you need when comes forth the call.

In your unfailing love, you will lead your people you have redeemed in your strength.

You will guide them to your holy dwelling, and I will sing to the Lord.

For He is highly exalted, the Lord is my strength, the Lord is my song. 

He has become my salvation.  He is my God, and I will praise Him! Exodus 15:1-2

You offer faith to those who know none at all.

You offer hope to those against the wall.

You mercifully love the hands that force the fall.

You only ask of me to be obedient,

To model faith to those who know none at all,

To demonstrate hope to those against the wall,

To be an example of your mercy and love,

And pray that they one day may also answer your call.

Purchase "Despite the Dark"